Supposedly in Chaos there's a strange attractor -- a point of gravity around which all the random particles coalesce. In my life I think the strange attractor is non-leaving-America. Every time I try to get out of this country, something breaks down.
I was going to study in Finland, but a professor advised me against taking that much time away from my friends at school. During my enforced year off I attempted trips to Greece and Costa Rica. Greece ended up being too expensive. I couldn't find anyone to go to Costa Rica with me and I wasn't comfortable traveling alone yet. Most recently I've been planning summer trips to ireland, scotland, england, france and morocco. But I just found out my job might actually be a volunteer position, based on my financial aid award. I might not have work study, and so might not be earning the $400 a month I thought I was. Soo... if I am volunteering and not earning... I need to either get another 10-20 hour a week job, or I need to can Europe.
I was reading an old journal entry and it noted that things have always fallen apart like this, usually with better results. Something better usually comes up.
Here's hoping. I really want to learn about other cultures and people. It's too homogenous around me. Unstimulating really. It's been time to go for two years now.