This is an excerpt from a letter to Jesus, written this morning about 1am.

"I'm not much of an instigator. I kind of pick up on what every one else is doing and express the need. Someone else has to make it happen though. I'm a good problem finder and problem solver. Which is important. It's not funny though. Or buff. Or simple. Or carefree. And I bear the weight of problems I've not yet solved."

Hmm. Negative again. I'm actually a pretty positive person. Maybe I'm that way because I bottle up the negativity. And then it all comes out in the wrong places and hurts people and makes people think I'm negative. So am I?

Tonight is ending with questions. Ending with chaos. That feels frustrating. But, I think I'm going to let it be. I don't think I can worry about chaos, cause everything is always chaos, and I don't want to always be worried. So, on a positive note, I still haven't stopped since I've been back at school. I've spent maybe 2 hours in this room, other than sleeping, since I got back Monday at 6. Ok, that wasn't positive. But it was honest. And that's positive.

Good night. Morning?